For the moment let’s put aside the great debate we are currently having over whether Muslims are bloodthirsty savages or noble persecuted victims of our foreign policy. Whatever one’s view of the tenets of a religion whose founder got rich and got married by murdering and torturing those who didn’t bow to his god, its modern day practitioners represent a practical problem that not even the most wide-eyed chump with a two-thousand dollar camera full of photos of native boys and a guidebook to doing Benghazi on two pebbles a day can really overlook.

youdopia-islam-humor-idiocy-fnord_Muslims, in a percentile yet to be decided, kill people. That is a thing which most members of the human race, not counting perhaps the Amish, do from time to time, but they seem to do it more frequently and without the non-prejudicial clause that our modern looters and murderers are expected to abide by. More problematically they do this in troublingly organized ways with an eye to achieving the maximum possible death toll even when there is no personal profit or personal survival involved.

Imagine the gang bangers with their gold-plated 9mm’s held at an artful hip-hop video angle believing that a short lifetime of sordid evil will be atoned by killing anyone who isn’t a member of the Crips, Bloods and Mohammeds. Now put those gang bangers under the leadership of a Muslim Bill Ayers, a graduate of some second-rate American university with a degree in Muslim Brotherhood recruitment in Cairo, and throw in funding from a Muslim George Soros with his own line of oil wells, terrorist training camps and country. Put the whole thing together and you have a serious Muslim terrorist problem.

There are plenty of other potential combinations for this formula. Swap in a bunch of Pakistani secret agents feeding off CIA cash and Taliban opium while plotting to take back Kashmir from the vast Masonic-Jewish-Hindu conspiracy that they imagine has been obstructing them all along. Stir in some Shiite drug dealers with a network stretching from Asia to Africa paying protection money to Hezbollah which keeps pretending that it’s defending Lebanon from the threat of an Israeli invasion long after the Israelis have left. Plop in a few Somali teenage refugees living in Minneapolis or Maine alternating Al-Awlaki with 50 Cent for their after-school entertainment.

The details don’t really matter all that much, except to the men in the field. The Muslim world is a big place, but mostly it’s a very messed up place. It’s churning with the same post-colonial dysfunctions as the rest of Asia and Africa, but it has a single violent solution to offer to all those problems. It’s the same solution that Mohammed offered to a bunch of desert tribesmen facing a confusing Post-Roman world order.

The Muslim world has a surplus of three things, crime, religion and oil. The oil is used to fund crime in the name of religion. It’s also used to find chumps who will kill themselves for the 1300 year old reason of making Allah and his prophet Mo supreme and Mo’s little black book supreme over all other religions.

To the American looking back on ten years in Afghanistan, with the memories of Tuesday the Eleventh growing a bit hazy, it’s tempting to ask, “How is this our problem?”

Well it isn’t. Neither is the doomsday cult living ten miles down the road, stockpiling weapons and explosives. It’s a problem to the extent of three factors. One, there are Muslims in this country. Two, there are Americans in the Muslim world. Three, there are weapons that can cross borders and kill millions.

The second problem is the most easily solved. It’s the one quite a few people think, in the wake of the big bang in Benghazi, can be solved by pulling our facilities out of those parts of the Muslim world where the authorities won’t even try to pretend they’re not in league with the extremely tiny majority of extremists that appears bent on killing us. And that’s doable.

There will be some lost business, but companies can always rely more on locals. The humanitarians will get butchered, but that may finally teach them that their humanitarianism has been wasted on the wrong people. If nothing else it will keep them from badgering us with petitions to save the whales or provide diversity training to the redwoods during our lunch hour. And that leads us back to the first problem; if their countries aren’t accessible to us, there’s no reason why our countries should be accessible to them.

There is a very simple immigration formula that works and it’s called doing a statistical assessment of each country by the likelihood that its immigrants will kill us once they arrive here. This is easily done and can lead to a quota system that will save us billions and make it less likely that we will have to build memorials in downtown parts of major cities.

The universities will squeak over all the Saudi students unable to enter the country and subsidize their LGBT media studies faculties with their tuition, 7 out of 10 whom they assure will not try to ram planes into buildings or build weapons of mass destruction. But there is one sure way of preventing acts of mass murder by Saudi and Pakistani students and that is by preventing Saudi and Pakistani students from gaining access to this country.

That doesn’t take into account the sizable number of Muslim refugees from suitably troubled spots in the world that we have taken in over the years. It doesn’t take in the network of Muslim Brotherhood front groups, the mosques and Islamic academies where Jihad is the main course and the online education seminars in terrorism that graduate incompetent, but still quite murderous mad Muslim bombers.

And then of course there’s the third problem. Too much technology has been exported and too much more will be in a transparently digital world. Even if IAF jets keep Iran from deploying its dreams of nuclear flame, no such jets will be headed to Pakistan. And the technological barriers to any state with a few billion dollars and a few thousand California trained engineers creating their own WMDs, nuclear or non-nuclear, are swiftly dropping.

That is why it’s our problem.

The OOG’s of Mohammed and a few of his gang bangers riding with camels, swords and red-dyed beards over to rob and rape some of Mecca’s finest had a limited scope. They started out extorting protection money and looting territories that the Greeks and Romans hadn’t really bothered with.

The Greeks and Romans had beaten down most of the local cultures and civilizations that might have prevented the rise of Islam. Instead they used the Arabs as mercenaries in suppressing those cultures without spending too much time worrying about them as a threat. And there wasn’t a reason to worry. Unlike the Persians, they didn’t have an organized empire. Unlike the Jews, they didn’t have a religion that would give them a common purpose. They were just a bunch of thugs raiding each other in the local version of Compton.

Mo and his successors weren’t original thinkers, but they got the empire and religion thing figured. They never really got either the empire or the religion to work right, but they swallowed up half the Roman Empire and nearly took the other half. Now the European kingdoms and nation states that blocked their forward path are moribund and their reach extends as far as the jet plane can take them.

The Europeans colonized a few new continents, but with a jet plane and permissive immigration, the Muslim world can colonize America, Canada and Australia too. And they are doing it. The effort isn’t moving as swiftly as the colonization of France or Sweden, but it’s still moving ahead on track and so long as birth rates and travel rates hold steady, then Americans and Canadians are the new Indians and Australians are the new Aborigines.

Raid and colonize. Kill, rape and enslave the locals. Drive them off, marry their women, take over the land. Everyone did it at least once in their history. These days it’s something that moderns think only space aliens do… not illegal aliens. But then space aliens are a metaphor for cultural aliens and the whole thing is a metaphor for subjects that can’t be talked about because everyone is too nervous to actually discuss them.

But all this is manageable. At least it would be if our governments weren’t run by people under the impression that having savages overrun our borders is an excellent progressive way of dismantling the outmoded nation state and introducing the natives to the joys of a socialist multicultural tyranny. However it’s the religion that’s the problem.

Mo did not introduce his people to the joys of the raid, they knew that long before him, what he did was formalize that raid as a religious expression. Pre-Mohammedan bandits saw themselves as bandits, which they did not feel ashamed of, but neither did they expect death to end in a carpet of myrrh, flowing lakes of balsam and virgin dispensing machines. That made them terrible people, but no more dangerous than your ordinary bandit. Mohammedan bandits however incorporated the warrior ethos into a religious mission to seize the territories of the heathens and make themselves into Emirs and Caliphs, in the name of that angel whom old Mo talked to in between raping his conquests.

Imagine those gang bangers with a religion behind them. Imagine gang leaders turning into warlords and then kings. Now imagine their princelings getting engineering degrees, learning to fly planes and build weapons of mass destruction– which aren’t just a punchline in a liberal comedian’s joke. Imagine a religion of gang bangers who keep getting better at blowing stuff up and at recruiting hashish-addled brothers and sisters to blow themselves up for a shot at the balsam, myrrh and virgin lands of paradise. Now imagine those people with their own countries and no plan except to point their gang bangers at us and hope they save some of the loot for them.

This is the practical problem of Muslim violence.